And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
