The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
