and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i will never coherently bang her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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