After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
