just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
