New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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