My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i drank out of a bidet.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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