Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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