he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
