My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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