Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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