You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
