On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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