I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
