k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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