k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
