Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
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I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize