i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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