How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
