Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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