Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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