dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize