YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
