I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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