I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
