Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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