somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
