home. puking in laundry basket.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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