her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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