I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
