Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
