he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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