i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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