wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So vagazzling was a success
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
