They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
