Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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