Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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