Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
