I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
