No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
