Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish I only lived at night.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
