Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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