What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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