dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
