just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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