i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
