is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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