I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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