Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
