i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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