He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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