Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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