My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
