Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
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officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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