I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So. Much. Porn.
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