soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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