with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
