I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
