i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
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He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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