Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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