On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize