Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
