Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
