he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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