We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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