He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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