fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
